I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.