the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
