Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero