He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
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he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
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I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's so Britney 2007, you know?