1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
operation harelip BJ is a go
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think a kid would responsible me up
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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