Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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