my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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