And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Me. At least after what I've been through.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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