I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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