my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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