wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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