ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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