and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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