ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
