You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
