Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
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i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
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I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.