There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
