Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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