Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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