i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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