I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
