We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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