oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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