so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
