i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
