Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
