week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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