Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Please don't give away my fajitas
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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