guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
