And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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