I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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