Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
