she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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