His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
