Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
