I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize