haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
