My nipple is on Facebook.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize