I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
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is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
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His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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