Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
no you cant smoke seaweed
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I party with great urgency now.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
