wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize