Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
