Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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