Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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