You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
