fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
