Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
