Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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