i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
