Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
