I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize