No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
