i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
