made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
