Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
