Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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