She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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