I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
