I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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