hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
