i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
