I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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