I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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