do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
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Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
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Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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