i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
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I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
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Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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