I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
