Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
