no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
