Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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